Do you ever wonder why some men seem to be more devoted and committed in relationships than others? The answer may lie in the "hero instinct". 

The hero instinct is a primal desire that leads males to want to feel respected, loved, and needed in relationships. Sadly, many ladies are unaware of a hidden approach to evoke a guy's love and dedication, which accounts for a lot of heartbreaks in relationships.

So, what exactly is the hero instinct? It's a concept that was first introduced by relationship expert James Bauer.

The hero instinct, according to Bauer, is a biological urge that men have to feel like they are heroes in the eyes of their spouses. This urge is strongly ingrained in male psychology and is frequently aroused when men feel wanted or appreciated.

Tell me if this is not true. I have observed men in different climes and cultures, both men of colour in Africa like Nigeria, Ghana etc and men in temperate regions or the western world. 

For instance, there is a country I once visited in Africa where a friend who lives there told me that men are more or less like ‘nobodies’ in marriages.

It is mothers that more or less run the affairs of the family, because their men are laid back.

In that country, the father figure is nothing to write home about.

You can see a supposed father, who is meant to be the head of his home, already drunk with alcohol early in the morning. It is the mother that runs around to provide for the family

Some of the findings I made, revealed that men are useless in that country because their ego has been significantly crushed. 

The thought is that since everybody already believes men are not heros but nuisances, they only resort to status quo and live to people’s expectation.

The case is different when men are praised and regarded to be heroes. This is why I have come to embrace the hero instinct concept!

When a man feels like a hero in a relationship, he becomes more invested in it. He feels a stronger sense of purpose and fulfillment.

This, in turn, leads to greater devotion and commitment.

However, when this instinct is not triggered, men can become distant and unresponsive in relationships.

So, how can you trigger a man's hero instinct? Here are some tips:

1. Show appreciation: 

Men want to feel appreciated for the things they do in a relationship.

Whether it's taking out the trash or planning a date night, show him that you notice and appreciate his efforts.

This will make him feel valued and respected, triggering his hero instinct.

The following are the practical ways you can trigger your man’s hero instinct by showing appreciation:

• Thanking him for his hard work: "Joe, I wanted to take a minute to thank you for all of your hard work. Your passion to your work and dedication are genuinely admirable, and I count myself fortunate to have a partner who shares these qualities."
• Acknowledging his support: "I just wanted to say thanks for always being there for me, Bae. I am so grateful to have you in my life because your constant support and inspiration mean the world to me."
• Praising his skills: "Your talent and expertise in resolving issues never ceases to astound me. You definitely have a gift for transforming people's lives, like you did regarding my two siblings, and I am very glad to be associated with someone who is so talented and accomplished." I guarantee you You can sure that men like it when you compliment their abilities. They can be obsessed with getting better and better. I speak from personal experience.
• Asking for his advice: "I respect and trust your judgment, therefore I wanted to hear your ideas on whether or not to pursue a master's degree. I respect your perspective and know that your insights will be useful when I make my decision."
• Recognizing his efforts:"I know that doing two jobs at the same time was difficult, but you did it with tenacity and endurance. I appreciate your efforts and want you to know that I acknowledge and appreciate what you do." Hmmn! Guess what will happen when your man gets this type of compliment! He feels like a superman, and the result will be mind-blowing!

In an informal and romantic tone, using phrases such as "express my appreciation," "unwavering support," "valuable insights," and "grateful for your efforts" can show that you are sincere and intentional about your appreciation.

By recognizing his skills, talents, and efforts, you can trigger his hero instinct and make him feel valued and appreciated.

Think of more creative ways to do this and watch your man fall on your laps every time. Thank me later

2. Let him take the lead: 

You should be reminded that guys want to feel in control of their relationships.

This does not require you to be weak or passive.

Let him to take the lead on certain tasks, such as setting dates and making decisions.

This will give him the impression that he is performing his responsibility as a protector and provider, which will activate his hero instinct.

Here are some practical ways you can do that:

• Let him plan the date: Allow your partner to take charge of planning your date night. Let him choose the restaurant or activity, and show enthusiasm for his choices. This will make him feel valued and empowered, as he is taking the lead in creating a memorable experience for you both.
• Trust his decision-making: I particularly love this. I discovered that most of the people I counsel with show that when a woman trusts a man’s decision making, the man will make less and less mistakes and eventually become great at decision-making. I know of a particular marriage in 2007 that hit the rocks because the woman never trusted her man to make good decisions. Men want to feel respected and trusted in their relationships. When faced with a decision, defer to his judgment and trust his instincts. This will show him that you have confidence in his abilities and leadership skills.
• Ask for his advice: Guys prefer to feel depended upon and needed. Ask him for his opinion on a topic or difficulty you're facing, and pay attention to what he has to say. This will increase his sense of importance in the relationship and give him the impression that he is contributing to your life.
• Let him take charge in the bedroom: In the bedroom, men want to feel as though they are satisfying their companion. Allow him to lead the way and direct you toward what he desires. When he is meeting your needs and wishes, he will feel like a hero in the bedroom.
• Encourage his passions: Men want to feel like they have a purpose in life. Encourage your partner's passions and support his goals and aspirations. This will make him feel like he's making a difference in the world, and will reinforce his sense of purpose and importance.

Allowing a man to lead can activate his hero instinct and make him feel cherished, respected, and empowered.

It is crucial to highlight that this does not imply that you should constantly submit to his decisions or put your own needs and goals aside.

It's about striking a balance and allowing him to take the reins in areas where he is confident and capable.

3. Be Vulnerable: 

Guys, like women, want to feel wanted in their relationships.

You activate his hero instinct by exposing your fragility or vulnerability and allowing him to be your support system.

This might be as simple as asking for his assistance or communicating your feelings to him.

You can achieve this in any of the following practical ways:

• Share your fears and insecurities: "I just wanted to let you know that I'm worried about my meager earnings. I'm always feeling the need to make more money. I realize it's ridiculous, but it's been on my mind. I'm so grateful to have you in my life, and I simply had to tell you that."
• Ask for his help:"I'm feeling a little stressed with finishing my school project, and I could use your assistance. I know you're capable and competent, and I believe you can assist me in figuring this out. Would you be willing to assist me?" This was what my girlfriend did when she was to complete her first degree at the University, and I felt like an hero helping her to complete her project, even though it wasn't my area of discipline.
• Admit your mistakes: "I just wanted to apologize for shouting at you last night. I know that I messed up, and I feel terrible about it. I appreciate your patience and understanding, and I want to make things right between us."
• Express your gratitude:"I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for being a part of my life. You bring so much joy and happiness into my life, and I consider myself quite fortunate to be with someone who makes me feel so loved and supported."
• Share your dreams and aspirations: "Bae, I just wanted to share my dream of owning a multi-million dollar retail store with you. I know that's a large goal, but you're really good at handling big objectives, and I believe I can do it with your help and encouragement. Would you be willing to assist me in realizing this dream?"

By being vulnerable and sharing your feelings, fears, and desires with your partner you can trigger his hero instinct.

Guys like to feel wanted and cherished by their partners, and expressing your vulnerabilities allows him to step up and be your hero.

This might strengthen your relationship by deepening your emotional connection.

4. Respect his opinions: 

Men want to feel like their opinions and ideas are valued in a relationship.

Even if you don't always agree with him, listen to his perspective and show respect for his opinions.

This will make him feel valued and appreciated, triggering his hero instinct.

• Listen actively: Give your undivided attention to your spouse when he is speaking. Place your phone down, create eye contact, and actively participate in the conversation. This demonstrates that you value his thoughts and respect his voice.
• Acknowledge his expertise: If your partner is informed about a subject, appreciate his knowledge and invite him to offer his thoughts. This demonstrates that you regard his intelligence and viewpoint.
• Don't dismiss his ideas: Even if you don't agree with your partner's opinion, avoid dismissing his ideas outright. Instead, try to understand his perspective and ask questions to gain a deeper understanding of his point of view. This shows that you respect his thought process and value his input.
• Support his decisions: When your partner makes a decision, support him even if you have a different opinion. This shows that you trust his judgment and respect his ability to make decisions.
• Express appreciation for his contributions: Extend your gratitude when your partner makes a valuable contribution, whether in a conversation, a choice, or an action. This demonstrates that you recognize his contributions and appreciate his efforts.

You may activate a man's hero instinct and make him feel appreciated, respected, and empowered by appreciating his thoughts or opinions.

Guys like to believe that their thoughts are valued and that they have a say in their relationships.

You may show your partner that you appreciate his thoughts and cherish his role in your life by appreciating his expertise, supporting his decisions, and expressing gratitude for his efforts.

5. Give him space: 

While men want to feel needed in a relationship, they also need space to pursue their own interests and hobbies.

Giving him this space will make him feel respected and valued, triggering his hero instinct.

• Respect his alone time: When your partner needs time alone, respect his space and refrain from bothering him. This demonstrates that you trust him to manage his own schedule and respect his desire for independence.
• Urge him to explore his interests and hobbies: Encourage your partner to pursue his interests and hobbies. This demonstrates that you value his uniqueness and support his own development.
• Trust his decision-making: When your partner makes a decision, respect his decision-making process and avoid micromanaging him. This demonstrates that you value his autonomy and believe in his ability to govern his own life.
• Avoid being needy and clingy: Give your mate the space he needs to recharge. This demonstrates that you value his freedom and respect his boundaries.
• Appreciate his successes: When your spouse achieves a goal, show him that you are proud of him. This demonstrates that you recognize his accomplishments and contributions.

Giving a man space can activate his hero instinct and make him feel cherished, respected, and self-sufficient.

Guys want to feel free to follow their own hobbies and govern their own lives.

You may show your spouse that you cherish his individuality and autonomy by respecting his boundaries, trusting his decision-making, and celebrating his successes.

Finally, the hero instinct is a strong force that can elicit a man's love and dedication in a relationship.

You may stimulate his hero instinct and develop a better, more rewarding connection by showing appreciation, allowing him to take the lead, being vulnerable, respecting his thoughts, and giving him space.

Note that the hero impulse does not imply being excessively subservient, passive, or ineffective in a relationship.

It's about recognizing and appreciating the role that men play as protectors and providers, and allowing them to fulfill this role in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling to them.

By understanding and activating the hero instinct, you make your man feel like the man he is meant to be in your life, and I assure you he is going to rise up to fill every position of responsibility required of him.

Above all, that man will become so committed and devoted to you because you triggered his hero instinct.

Action Time:

Let me know what you feel about this post. Do you believe in the hero instinct as a factor that can get your man devoted to your relationship?

Also, let me know if there are additional ways you've applied the hero instinct to work for you.